1. |
Overture
02:25
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Selling all my wants
In search of gently used needs
To trade up for a spot
At the creator's feet
Life is a waking dream
And sleep is stranger still
Both of these things I know...
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2. |
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It's dark and you're just waking up
My pity will not save you but you'll see it as some luck
Like a free breakfast we all pretend you earned
Or the way I shout your name above the names I never learned
In their windbreakers and uncomfortable neckties
Hey kid, you're alright
It's dark when you finally stumble home
From carving out a space to bury one more bag of bones
That you chewed and spit and crushed beneath your feet
You know her taste still lingers in the gaps between your teeth
So you gag, and you drink to forget
Have you considered the weight of that walk?
A taller tale with every block
Spinning fiction round your ankles until you can't trust your own feet
Unsteady on her street
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
I'm still trying to kill my pain, too
It's dark and the words are coming quick
The sensation is apparent if the meaning never is
Until I hang that apron on my bedroom door
Crumpled guest check tickets spread like maps across the floor
Next to birthday gifts and love I'd love to use
It's all for you
Go run from this city and into the tide
The space between the earth and sky
Sink into daylight and let the nightmares pass
Trust me, they always pass
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
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3. |
I Saw The Wreckage
03:08
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You swore you’d never travel
But now you’re stuck in LA traffic
Wondering what you did with that book
Don’t know which ex-lover has it
I know I kept a thing or two
Of all the things that I took from you
I don’t know which way I’d have it
Don’t know which road feels more true
But I watched one road fade to dark
Cause I’d been driving it for hours and hours and hours
I passed a place where it once rained
I saw the wreckage of the ark
I felt the bodies buried deep
In the mud under my feet
Thought about how I will end up there someday
That thought still scares me from my sleep
That’s why I’m singing in the dark
Cause I’ve been lying here for hours and hours and hours
And every fear I cannot face
But there are some I can allow
Like the last time you spoke to me
You said you’re dying to get free
Now you think you’ve finally done it
But I don’t know if I believe
Oh, what a joy it must be
To face the people that you meet
With that look that I just cannot trust today
It used to bring me to my knees
You're why I’m singing in the dark
I could sing this song for hours and hours and hours
Every fear I cannot face
But just this one I can allow
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4. |
300 Exits
04:19
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I’m dreaming of the Chicago skyline
And I'd drink that dirty water for the rest of my life
If it meant that I could be with you tonight
I fell asleep back in Virginia
The last thing I remember was sweating through my shirt
I’d fly down that highway every day just to heal your hurt
300 exits a day every day
With Mat in the back seat and you next to me
I’ll cross the whole country to see you again
I’m wading through a Nashville field now
I’d tear down this whole stage to be back in that house
Listen to those glasses clink and tell me we’re still strangers now
Tell me we’re not strangers
I fell asleep somewhere in Cleveland
Next thing I remember I woke up in a haze
I still keep that train ticket deep in my drawer
And I’m thankful every day
For 300 exits a day every day
With Mat in the back seat and you next to me
I’ll cross the whole country to see you again
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5. |
Out To Dry
05:26
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If the wind keeps on blowing in
Dusting snow on the ground
We will keep ourselves inside for now
Everything that we're meant to be remains to be seen
I just hope we get along for now
Come and calm these aching bones
Don't leave 'em out to dry
Everything that you want to say
Say it, you're mine
I'll take the sludge in my coffee
And I'll take the shake in my car
I'll even take snarling daylight and cursing alarms
If I wake up on time today
I'll get to drive somewhere warm
Beat the rainclouds there and wake up in your arms
I'll say baby
Come and calm these aching bones
Don't leave 'em out to dry
Everything that you want to say
Say it, you're mine
Come and calm these aching bones
Don't leave 'em out to dry
Everything that you want to do
Just do it, you're fine
I love the way that you look at me
Through one eye or both
Oh, I just hope you believe what you see in me
I think a lot about that semester
All those nights we got left alone
By friends who cared too much for gossip
But still, they knew something we didn't know
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6. |
Visit (Revisit)
03:37
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When it's late and you're sleeping
Let your lungs do the breathing
You've got no one to hold close
I asked and you stood behind no
But I wouldn't let that be the thing that
Let me let you get away
Callously overcorrecting
From my bed in this room I'm just renting
I said last time was the last time
My warning shot lit up the night sky
The city's so small now from up on my rain cloud
And your high horse is bucking about
So say I'm right
When it's late and you're sleeping
Let your heart do the grieving
For a life you never signed up for
A shiny new lock on an old door
You let me break into a heart long past past-due
Making up for the time slipped away
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7. |
Perfect Light
04:16
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Long shot, long wind
Blew the fire that gave me perfect light
I'm not saying that the winter will save me
I tried to end the madness but the world kept spinning round
So I stopped worrying and laid my weapons down
You met me in the middle of a cold and darkening day
And said, "Don't wait for me"
I said, "Okay"
Everyone that's ever been born gets a lifetime
I'm not saying that I didn't get enough
But the sins of our fathers keep our stories unclear
And news travels fast around this town
So now everyone knows just how I spent the last four weeks:
With the sin, its razor claws still stuck in me
I tried to end the madness but the world kept spinning round
So I stopped worrying and laid my weapons down
You met me in the middle of a cold and darkening day
And said, "Don't wait for me"
I said, "Okay"
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8. |
Commercial St.
04:36
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Tuesday morning smells like cold gas and coffee grounds
The city small talk's making rounds
"It's finally winter now"
Commercial Street is silent, still and sure of something
Bigger than this history that's bearing down on me
Man, it's getting so heavy now
A corner table saved with jackets feels like home
Where they're smiling big and wiping sweat
So desperate to connect
I'll raise a toast to pressing fists
And dangling the past over this precipice
Say: "I'm glad I came around, but I really should be heading out"
But it's not weird when you come home at 2 and I'm still up
Smoking by the windowsill, I'm bathing in the chill
You offer me a drink that we both know I don't need
But what that really means is we both need one now
And it's getting lighter out
At a party in the last hours of the year
We'll speak about our greatest fears and how I met mine here
What I won't say is how I'm afraid if grow up and finally let go of this
I might have nothing left
In the guest room, I'll sleep the whiskey off
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9. |
Portland, Winter 2015
03:04
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I'm not looking at my phone again today
See, there's so much I'm dying to hear that you're just never gonna say
So I'm not looking at my phone again today
I'm not drinking after work again, no way
Well that's just something cute I tell myself to get me through the day
So I'm gonna get fucked up after work today
What are you crying for?
What are you crying for?
What are you crying for, you child?
You miserable waste of your own time
See I hate who I've been since I packed up and moved away
I call home every weekend and I promise that I'm okay
But I'm too proud to call it quits, so Portland's where I'll stay
Maybe I didn't get the job but I got the girl
And I got some seaside perspective
So I can scream and call this art
But no one has to listen
I'll say it anyway cause I like your attention
What are you crying for?
What are you crying for?
What are you crying for, you child?
Your darkness is cracking in this light
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10. |
Before/After
03:42
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I woke up to the sound of sunbeams falling down around me
The house was empty and the coffee was cold
I drove to work alone and sang a working song
To rebuild, reconstruct, reunions that I dreamt of
But you're no more than a headshot in a glass frame
You're just a picture of a memory I have
How many truths can I invent in the recesses of my mind
To spite and ruin, is that something I get to decide?
I heard the clouds are hiding castles
But that salvation seems too high
Cause there's a temple in your body
And there's a prison cell in mine
Day drunk and spelling words wrong but I'm better off
My doctor says I should dig into my fears
So for an hour a week I'll fumble through you
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11. |
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I watched you slip with every step as I ran by
From fifty meters back you volleyed words into sky
Your heart is roaming somewhere in these old pines
As sure as spring will come, you melted mine
I could feel you in my memory when I woke
My t-shirt smelled of liquor and some stale campfire smoke
We sent it up in signals so that old farm town
Knew they would catch us driving fast with windows down
Don't hold fast, don't stay the course, don't keep steady
Don't watch your words, just let them fall right out of your face
Say it loud, I'll sing it back, I love you more
Say it loud, I'll sing it back, I love you more
Long weekend burning rubber up and down the state
I drew it on my body if that memory ever fades
Or the story gets confused and battered up from the abuse
Of recollecting our collected fairy tales
So if you're wondering which version I'm gonna tell
When I wake up on a bar stool after being dragged through hell
By disease after disease, cause they're all coming for me and my family
I'll say, oh well, here are the facts:
(or at least as well as I can recall)
You're not a myth
You are just chemicals
You're not improbable
You're not a miracle or anything at all
So don't hold back, don't stay the course, don't keep steady
Don't watch your words, just let them fall right out of your face
Say it loud, I'll sing it back, I love you more
Say it loud, I'll sing it back, I love you more
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Juniper Ginger Portland, Maine
Juniper Ginger is the solo project of Portland, Maine songwriter Alex Millan.
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